Wednesday, May 7, 2014

The Calm before the Storm

My Friend, Lisa Moles, has started a little project for caregivers everywhere called One Word Wednesday.  Each Wednesday, Lisa provides us with a one word prompt and we blog about the thoughts that the word brings to mind for us as caregivers.  It is not only interesting it is "releasing". You just write and let go of all the stress that comes with caregiving.

Today's prompt is CALM.

I have been pretty lucky in my caregiving journey with a Mom who suffers from Alzheimer/Dementia disease.  She was diagnosed at 88 years of age.  Mom is now 93 and physically looks and acts like a woman in her 70's.  Mom has not gotten mean or nasty, as is often the case with this disease.  She has not forgotten how to take care of her basic needs.  She still feeds herself, dresses herself, recognizes when she needs to use the bathroom and takes care of that herself, can walk up and down stairs, seldom complains and has a great sense of humor.

True, she asks the same questions every 20 seconds for hours on end.  True, she has no idea what year it is, that her parents and husband are gone to Heaven before her, that her children are grown with children and grandchildren of their own.  True, she has no idea where she lives or with whom she lives.  But that is all minor stuff when you are talking Alzheimer/Dementia disease.

So I often wonder if this is the Calm before the Storm.  I wonder each day when I awaken what this day will bring.  I pray each night that Mom dies before the storm arrives and I have to turn her over to some stranger to take over her care.

And I work at keeping myself Calm by knowing that God has a plan and that He is in charge.  So I Let Go and Let God.  And offer praise of gratitude each day that the Calm remains.


  1. I want to work towards YOUR calm......I admire you so much Wendy!

    1. Oh Paula, as much as our situations are similar they are also very different. We are hard wired, I think, to deal with the decline and death of our parents but a spouse....that has to be so much more difficult...the only thing worse than losing spouse, in my opinion, would be losing a child. And, I have some help with my calm. When I had my break down many years ago I was put on Lexapro. I still take it because the thought of returning to that dark space I was in scares me to death. I have had no side effects from the Lexapro. It just makes me feel helps me to see the rainbows when it rains and the sun peeking our from the clouds.

    2. I agree with Wendy - caring for a parent is natural, caring for a spouse has to be much harder. And sadder. And more heartbreaking. And Wendy - I hope your calm stays and stays. She's 93 and still so vital - I pray she stays that way for as long as she is on this Earth

    3. I think it is hard for all of us regardless. I've taken Lexapro for awhile. I really couldn't tell any difference. I am a terrible pill taker. My grandson takes Lexapro for his anxiety. Works wonders for him


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