Tuesday, May 27, 2014

If I had only known......

I am going to be 56 this year...that means that even if I live to be as old as my parents, my life is more than half over.   This doesn't upset or scare me...it just astounds me.  When I was a kid I thought 30 was old and then when I turned 30, I thought 50 was old...now that I am in my 50's I am thinking that 70 is old and then I remember Pops and Mom in their 70's and the things we would do and the fun we would have.  When Pop's was in his 70's he tore apart and remodeled my kitchen all by himself! Heck, when he was 90 he was busting out cement in his yard with a sledgehammer!!!  My brother, Larry, is in his 70's and still rides his Harley from CA to MI each year!  So, I guess 70's is not really old age.

But 56 is old enough to have learned a few things and I thought I would share those things with you on this List it Tuesday.

I wish I had known:
  • How quickly my kids were going to grow up.  I wish I had spent less time admonishing them and more time cuddling them.  I wish I would have relaxed and enjoyed them more because they grew up despite me.
  • Not to sweat the small stuff and to recognize that most things are the small stuff.  If it is not going to affect your life in the next month, day or year then just breathe through it and know that this too shall pass.
  • Not to worry about "what if's"....Today has enough worry of it's own without borrowing trouble.
  • Not to try that first cigarette....
  • That God puts people into your life to fulfill a need and puts you into other's lives to help them during certain times.  These relationships are very important for the duration of the need but they are not friendships that you need mourn when their usefulness has ended...you just keep the memories and allow yourselves to drift apart.
  • That God puts others in your life as permanent fixtures and those are the relationships that you need to nurture and have grow along with you and the changes that occur in everyone's lives.  You know who these people are because you cannot imagine a life without them a part of it.
  • That other's don't have to agree with me or have the same outlook on life.  This is a big world filled with diversity, how can some of that diversity not creep into our most intimate and close relationships.
  • If it is good enough for your family it is good enough......Never worry about inviting someone into your home or to offer them a seat at your supper table.  If your home is clean enough and your meals are good enough for your family they should be good enough for friends and strangers.  If they are not...then start prioritizing because your family's happiness and welfare should be much more important than anyone else's.
  • To begin each morning in praise to God for all the blessings you have.  When you start the day counting your blessings it overflows into the rest of your day and your family's day.
  • To never miss an opportunity to offer a smile or a hug to each person you encounter during the day.  I once was pulling a plastic produce bag off the roll in the grocery store and a woman was standing behind me waiting for her turn.  I turned and handed her the bag and she exclaimed "Oh my gosh, thank you, that is the nicest thing anyone has done for me today!"  That was many, many years ago but it had a profound affect on me....many people do not have friends and family that shower them with kindnesses on a daily basis...a simple smile or thoughtful act on your part may be the nicest thing that happens to them today!!
  • To end each evening thanking God for all the good things that happened to you this day, of course we turn to Him with our needs and petitions but I always try to end my day with gratitude and acknowledgment of the good things I have...it helps me sleep better.
I hope each and everyone of you has a glorious day.  Please drop a note and share what you wish you had only known......


  1. I am right there with you on the kids...wish I hadn't been so busy building a career and spent more time with my kids. Maybe it would have made a difference in where my oldest son is today...I need to still work on many of the other things that you mentioned. You are a wise and wonderful woman Wendy!

    1. Maybe it would have Paula and maybe not....we will never know so instead of shouldering the blame for your son's choices just remind yourself that you did the best you could with what you had and let him be responsible for the choices he made and continues to make.

    2. That is where I am now Wendy. I quit beating myself up a long time ago by how he turned out. I raised them both the same and one is one way and the other is another. But I do often wonder...how can a mother not?

    3. I know and it is something all mother's do I guess, however I don't think my mother ever did because she was convinced that she was perfect in every way and too self centered to recognize that any of our problems had any reflection on her parenting LOL

  2. I love the comment "if it's good enough for your family, it's good enough"...I always kill myself trying to make things perfect - especially in the cleaning department. I'm sure it will be a process, but I am going to try and relax on this a little. I am sure I will enjoy things more...and probably have more people over! Great list!

    1. Good for you Lisa. It is releasing and I have yet to have anyone not want to come over because there might be dust on the furniture and hot dogs for dinner.


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