Thursday, January 2, 2014

Confessions of a Caregiver

Mom fell today.

I had just gotten home and I was trying to put away groceries, straighten the house, let the dogs out, the phone was ringing, the dogs were barking and Nancy came home with Mom who had been having her hair done.  I went to the front door to unlock it and get the dogs out of the way.  Mom walked up and was standing on the porch, as I was getting the dogs out of the way.  Mom started scraping her boots on the porch so as to not track in snow because the weather was frightful out there.  I was telling Mom not to worry about it and to come in before the dogs got out, Nancy was behind Mom and telling the dogs to back up and all of the sudden Mom's feet went out from under her and she flew up into the air and came back down, half in the house and half outside.  The dogs, of course thought she was playing and ran up to lick her in the face.  Nancy was screaming "Oh No!!!" and I was trying to push the dogs away to get to Mom.

Mom said "I think I broke something, I can't get up".  I asked what hurt and she replied her hip.  Nancy took her legs and I took her under the arms and we moved her into the house but we weren't sure if we should move her too much. Thank God, Frank pulled up just then and I waved him out to help us.  Frank has had medic training and is much calmer about these things than I.  Frank got out of the car and came and helped Mom to get up.  She could stand, she could walk, she said her hip hurt a little so we took a look and there was a small contusion.  We got her settled.  A few minutes later she walked into the bathroom as if nothing had happened.  When she came out I asked how she was and she replied that she was fine and inquired as to why I would ask.  She is amazing....93 yrs old, takes a fall that would devastate anyone half her age and in moments she has forgotten about it.

When our son, Tony, arrived for dinner I was telling him about Grandma's fall and Mom said "Don't listen to her, I never fell, she must be imagining things.

May God forgive me but the first thing that I thought when Mom fell was "oh no, there goes the California trip".  I immediately felt guilty about thinking that before thinking about Mom's welfare but there you have it....I am not a saint....I am not even that good of a person...I am just a regular old daughter who, like many other children, got thrust into the role of caregiver and who is looking forward to a break.  Thank you Lord for my mother's resilience and forgive me for my selfishness.


  1. I am thankful there was not a broken hip. Believe me I can understand that feeling of guilt when your first thought was about your California trip. It is okay. And you need to forgive yourself. When I think about Richard dying, I think a lot about how the income will be affected......and then my guilt begins. Here, take a {{hug}} Have a safe trip

    1. All I needed to get rid of the guilt was to spend several hours trapped in airports and on airplanes with her. We left at 4:30 am Detroit time it is now 3:05 Detroit time and we are still stuck in Phoenix for another 2 hrs.


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