Sunday, October 20, 2013


Well I guess I blew the challenge...I went up north yesterday so did not blog on this topic...I'll try to catch you up today. I spoke with Dawn yesterday morning while we were heading up north and she said Mom was having a much better day.  She was right back to being her regular happy self.  This made me happy because I could relax and enjoy my weekend off.
I thought I would spend this time talking about the things Mom remembers.  Mom remembers that she walks from Michigan to California and back every year.  She has never been taken there by any of us but one time a nice man in a truck picked her up and drove her halfway.  Mom remembers that she and Pops almost bought Dawn's house when they were first married.  Dawn's house wasn't built until the 1990's but that is neither here no there.  Mom remembers that I am her older sister and she remembers that she has never had a manicure, pedicure or her hair colored.  Nor does she wear glasses. 
It is amazing to me that Mom cannot remember the truths in her life but that she comes up with these fantasies that she always remembers.  Anytime anyone asks her about California she remembers she walked.  Whenever she walks into Dawn's house she says she once was going to buy it.  Whenever I introduce her to anyone she always tells them she is my sister. 
I love my mother and I am grateful that I have had so many years with her but I can't lie and say that she has not become a burden to me and my family.  I worry that one day I may have no choice but to place her in a nursing home and I pray every night that she joins Pops in Heaven before I have to make that decision.  I am fortunate that my family will support any decision I make but ultimately the decision is mine and I promised Pops that I would always take care of her.
I am excited because we got a new puppy this weekend.  Mom loves babies of any sort so she will be surprised and happy when she gets home tomorrow.

See Day 21


  1. I so totally understand your delimina. I have never promised my husband not to put him into a home. I promised him that I would take care of him until I couldn't take care of him anymore. It is the financial cost that keeps me taking care of him at home. It is crazy that Medicare will pay $4.0000. a month to Hospice to come to my house once a week, provide us with necessary supplies and meds, but will NOT cover the cost of a nursing home. I am so happy that you had a weekend away.

  2. No kidding Paula. The places where you would entrust your loved ones are at least 5k a month and they don't accept insurance. We would have enough $ to last about 9 mos and then we would have to start supplementing her income. Even splitting the cost among 4 of us (one sibling does not believe it is his responsibility) it would still put a huge dent in our budgets. There are no easy answers. We had hospice for my Pops and they were excellent but I didn't think they would be available for my Mom. Does your husband have other medical problems also or did they consider Alzheimer disease terminal?

    1. My husband's diagnosis is Parkinson's with dementia. Call a local hospice and have them come evaluate her. You have to get your doctor to give you a referral. It is 'supposed' to be within 6 months terminal. We have passed the 6 months now. They said as long as they can show a continued decline he would qualify.

    2. Yes, that was how I handled it with Pops but Mom has no physical maladies it is all just her mind but I will talk with the doc and see what he has to say. I am keeping you and your husband in my prayers.


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