Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Cloudy with a Chance of Tears

The Photo a Day Challenge today asked us if the sun was shining and if not, what the sky was like.


Our sky today was cloudy and gray, just like my mood.

We moved Mom out of our house today and into a Memory Care Center.
We worked hard to make sure her room was as similar as the one here as possible.




Mom was extremely anxious and kept saying "Ok, let's go home now".
I would explain that this was where she was going to live now and she would say "Ok but not right now".  It was a very difficult situation.  I finally told her I had some running around to do and that I would be back.  She must have said "you better come back" 5 times in 10 minutes.  We left but Kirsten stayed for a bit and sat with Mom and John's Aunt Harriet.  Kirsten said when she left Mom and Aunt Harriet had gone over to where others were playing UNO to watch them play for awhile.  I hope Mom decided to join in.  She loves playing cards.


We were able to get her to smile for a photo of us in her new apartment.

I did make the roast for the Slow Cooker French Dip scheduled for Try it Tuesday but I was spent after we left the memory care center and we just stopped for a bite on the way home.  I will finish the recipe tomorrow and give you an update.







16 comments:

  1. Big Hugs. My heart goes out to you and your family. You have gone through one of the most heart wrenching life decisions. DH and his sisters are facing that now, and it is going to be a very tough thing.

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    1. Thank you, I will be praying for your in laws.

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  2. Dear Wendy,
    I can't imagine your pain. Take good care of yourself and know your Mom will get good care. I love the name of the place, "Memory Care" Center. Her room is beautiful. You have done a loving thing. Lots of loving thoughts for you and the family,
    Shelly

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    1. Thank you Shelly and please give Becca a big congratulations hug from me.

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  3. I will never forget the day that my youngest brother and I walked out of the nursing home where we had just left our mom. We stood in the parking lots fighting back the tears and got in our cars and drove away. It makes me cry to think about it right now. My arms are wrapped around you Wendy in a big old bear hug!! She will adjust. Of that, I am sure

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    1. Thanks Paula...it was very hard and now I find myself hesitating to go there this morning because I don't know what to expect and I don't know if I have the strength to leave her again if she is insistent about going with me.

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  4. This was the hard step. It doesn't get easier but the first step into a new environment is the hardest step.

    Keep moving forward. Be joyful when you are around her with each visit, give her lots of assurance and love that things are working out great. Check in with staff regularly on the sly just to ease your own mind of what is happening when you aren't there. You might be surprised that she does just fine but won't let you know that herself.

    Be strong. This is the right step. The room looks lovely. And she will adjust - my mom adjusted - they all adjust - she may still ask when she is going home. My mom still asks that question - sometimes we talk out why this place is better than my home - sometimes I just change the subject and move on to other fun stuff that is going on there.

    And you are still the caregiver in your heart and soul, so it will be harder for you than for her. Our brains are still functioning 100% so we are very good at beating ourselves up with worry, but her brain is not at 100% so she isn't doing that to herself.

    Virtual hugs to you.

    Elaine

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    1. Thanks so much Elaine, your kind words mean more than you know.
      How long has you mom been in her residential care unit?

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    2. She entered assisted living in December 2011 and skilled nursing in March 2014. There was an adjustment to each ... For both of us. I wish I could say this gets easier. It just get safer ... For her. And she still asks when she is going home. :-(

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    3. Oh, I was hoping that she would eventually feel like that was home. Have you ever taken her out for the day? I would like to take Mom out but I am afraid of her reaction when I take her back.

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  5. What a beautiful apartment. You guys did a great job. My mom tells everyone that I never come to see her, and I'm there 3 or 4 times most days. And then when I do come and have to leave, it's torture. I pray for you that you can find peace with that. It's the hardest thing for me. She was like that at home too. I'm sure she'll still be that way once she comes home again.
    Sending you a giant virtual hug and keeping you and your mom in my prayers.

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    1. Mom is the same way. Every time I would tell her someone was coming over she would say "I haven't seen them in years"

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  6. I forgot to tell you how much I loved your creative title to this post. And I know that is exactly how you felt yesterday....

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    1. Yes it described my feelings perfectly.

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  7. You did it in the name of love for your mom, and your very own survival. What else could you have done? I can't tell you how many lonely elderly people are out there with no one to visit them. I know this because when I work tax season the majority of our clients are seniors with serious ailments. xo R....

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