Where there's a Will there's a Way

Our prompt today at One Word Wednesday is Willing.  

I have been sitting here thinking about what I should write.  An idea popped into my head right away but I was not sure I was willing to share it.

Mostly, because I am afraid to talk about it again because then if I don't follow through everyone knows that my spirit is willing but my body is weak.

Because at least once a month, I post here or on facebook, that I am going to start taking better care of myself.  I start of for a day or a week or a month and once for a full year...and then I find I am no longer willing to do what it takes to take care of myself.

It is a lot of work....watching what you eat, planning for your exercise, drinking water when other's are drinking wine or cocktails....You have to be willing to go that extra mile, to spend the extra time and energy it takes to treat yourself and your body well.

For the past few years, I have used my Mom as an excuse as to why I couldn't take care of myself.  But, it was just that, an excuse....I was just not willing to put forth the effort needed and it was easier to blame the time and stress used taking care of Mom.

I can't use that excuse any longer and I have been feeling kind of at a loss for what to do with myself now that I no longer have the responsibility of having Mom here.  I changed my excuse to the fact that my hips hurt, my knees hurt, my back hurts....but these again are just excuses and if I dropped 30 or 40 lbs these things wouldn't hurt any longer.

Frank got me, at my request, a renewed membership to my gym.  I used to love my gym.  I used to love going to bootcamp, pilates and zumba sessions and I know I will love it again.  Tomorrow will be my first return back for a zumba class.  I have to be willing to answer all the questions about where I have been and all the looks (real or imagined) that happen when someone let's themselves go and gains 30 lbs in a year.  I have to be willing to be out of step and out of breath for most of the class.  I have to be willing to allow myself to get back into the groove of things.

Mostly, I have to be willing to forgive myself and tell myself each day that I deserve to be taken care of....not by others but by myself....God has given me a temple and it is time I started caring for it.

So, there you go.  Once again I had to be willing to put it out there in the hopes that doing so will make it more uncomfortable to stop.  I will be willing to give weekly updates on how I am doing with this challenge that I am facing.  I will be willing to swallow my pride and discomfort and admit that I can't do this on my own.  I need support.  I need accountability.  I need you!