Each time I walk in, Mom looks at me and slowly recognition registers and she says "Oh for God's sake, what are you doing here". I tell her that I came to see her, she asks how I knew where to find her, I tell her I keep track of her, she says I always did take good care of her. Then she takes me by the hand so I can meet "her gang". I am introduced to everyone as her sister and then we sit in "Mom's living room" and visit for a while. Her "gang" grows as more and more of them join us in the "living room". It is like a coffee klatch without the coffee. I visit until it is time for the next activity that is scheduled and then leave her and "the gang" in the kind, capable hands of the activities director, Pauline.
That routine is down pretty pat now....my routine at home...not so much. I still feel lost some of the time, like my life has no direction. I have asked Frank to reestablish my membership to the gym for my birthday. I am hoping this helps me to regain my routine I had before life circumstances blew it to smithereens. I will get up, get my morning routine out of the way, go to a class at the gym and then stop and see Mom afterwards. At least that is the way I am imagining it right now....time will tell. Life is filled with surprises!!
Today is One Word Wednesday and in case you haven't guessed, our word for today is ROUTINE. Hop on over to Lisa's blog, link up and tell us about your routine.
I love your opening...I knew exactly where you were going before you got there. That's the life of the Alzheimer's caregiver! The way their brain works and the confidence they show when they share their thoughts...their reality. Good luck at the gym - I would be a crazy person without my pool!!! I am so happy that your mom has settled in so easily. I think everything is harder for us than it is for them!
ReplyDeleteAmen Lisa.
DeleteYou will find your niche again. Once again, be gentle with yourself.
ReplyDeleteWe love and appreciate you.
Larnzy
I know...and I know you and Mary understand having lived it with her mom. Can't wait to see you.
DeleteIt is really hard right now to establish a routine at my house. But with time it will come. I am so happy that your mom settled in so well. That makes it so much easier on you
ReplyDeleteIt really does Paula, I had so much guilt and now I just feel like this was the right thing to do for her. Now I just have to pray she does not outlive the money...isn't that a terrible thing to say....but it is a real worry.
DeleteNo that isn't at all a terrible thing to say Wendy. I used to pray for Richard to keep living until I got the savings account built back up. It just didn't happen. I totally understand the money thing!!
DeleteMoney is a constant worry for care givers. I have similar thoughts for my mom. But almost everyone outlives their money now that we can live so long. I worry more about it for myself and for my future caregivers - my kids.
ReplyDeleteI know that is what worries me....I don't know what we will do if/when the money runs out.
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