I haven't written about Mom this week because I have been busy blogging other stuff but that does not mean that Mom has not been a part of my life. She is just not an all consuming, unending part of my life now....that in itself is very weird!!
Dawn and I both stopped to see Mom on Monday before our chalk painting project. We sat in Mom's "living room" and her "neighbor" Elodie came over to visit with us. We were talking (gossiping) about all their other "neighbors" and then Elodie told us her husband had gotten killed in the Army. I told Elodie that Mom's husband had been in the Army and Mom looked at me like I was nuts and said...."I don't have a husband". That is the first time, to my knowledge, that Mom has forgotten Pops. It was a very weird feeling.
Today when I stopped by, all the "neighbors" were in the "restaurant" baking cookies with the activity director. The activity director at the memory care center is a wonderful, patient and happy person that works very hard at coming up with fun activities that the residents enjoy. Mom was happy to see me and introduced me to everyone as her sister. All the staff said hello and how nice it was to meet me. It is weird how very worried I was that Mom would not adjust to living away from me and now she doesn't even remember that she ever lived with me.
At least one member of the family stops by each day but of course Mom doesn't remember because she just got there a few hours ago. It is rewarding to us that each time we do stop by Mom is engaged in an activity or sitting outside with her "gang" or visiting with Harriet. We have yet to find Mom in her room by herself.
What is really weird is that I didn't think to take a photo of Mom making her cookies. Dang!!!
I hate it when I forget to take a good picture too! I was going through the box of pictures with mom on Monday and for the first time she didn't recognize my Daddy. She doesn't remember his name always, but their engagement picture always jogged her memory. No longer. I tried again Tuesday and today. So sad... I am so happy you got such an awesome AD!
ReplyDeleteyes, mom hasn't referred to pops by name in a couple of years but she always knew she had a husband until now.
DeleteI am so glad that your mom has adjusted so well. Just keep checking on her....did you get that nanny cam hidden away yet?
ReplyDeleteYes at least one of us gets by every day and sometimes several of us go on the same day. I haven't gotten the nanny cam yet, it slipped my mind when Mom adjusted so quickly. The only time that it would have come in handy was when Mom's and 3 other resident's glasses were missing. The aides had to search everyone's rooms to find the glasses thief LOL.
DeleteYes, her adjustment is a blessing ... For you! It helps you with the feelings you were dealing with right before you moved her from your home.
ReplyDeleteNot remembering is a blessing for her as well. My mom still asks when she is "going home". I am not sure where "home" is for her now, as she also asks when her mom and dad are coming for a visit. That always makes me so sad. Which is the kinder response ... Your parents have died or they will never be coming for a visit. Sometimes I just change the subject. Sometimes I just say, hey, mom, you are my mother (as she may think I am her sister.).
So look at the silver lining. Your mom isn't sad. She is engaged in her surroundings with no disappointments. And she still knows you. Those things will be gone someday as well.
Well my Mom doesn't ask me to take her home anymore because she is waiting for "them" to come and get her to go home. I am very relieved that she is happy the majority of the time and engaged with others and recognizes me even in the wrong context. I know that one day I will walk in there and she won't have a clue who I am.
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