I ALWAYS pictured my parents, who were very vibrant and healthy well into their 80's as invincible. I was convinced that one or the other of them would die suddenly and the other would follow shortly thereafter of heart break. Unfortunately, this scenario did not take into account that Pop's would get lung cancer and die slowly, in hospice, as we watched and that Mom would suffer dementia and not realize that Pops had died and she was going to follow.
So instead of what I ALWAYS thought would happen, I spend my days ALWAYS listening to mom ask where her husband is. ALWAYS agreeing with her that he should be home soon because the alternative is to watch her grieve for an intense few minutes and then say again "Well, I hope my husband get's home soon". You never know what scenario she will have in her head at any given moment but you ALWAYS know she has one. Her husband is at work, or at war, or travelling or just out for a while. Sometime's she remembers her husbands name and sometimes not but ALWAYS she remembers that he is a good husband and that they love each other very much.
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Mom and Pops Golden Wedding Anniversary
They had 74 years together. That is more than many peoples lifetimes. I ALWAYS remember how lucky we were to have parents who loved and doted on each other and who showed us what marriage is meant to be.
By their example, I learned to Thrive at Home.
Wow 74 years together. That is fantastic. I am glad that you have these memories of your parents.
ReplyDeleteMe too Paula.
Delete74 years is so amazing. No wonder she asks about him. Mom has forgotten her second husband altogether and Daddy is a feint memory. She asks about her Grandma Perry and her dad mostly. I just tell her they didn't come today, I came instead. I tried explaining that they had passed and she was so sad. It's just not worth it. Beautiful photo and wonderful story.
ReplyDeleteThanks LIsa, yes I see no reason to resurrect sad memories. Sometimes I think God is kind, taking away her memories....perhaps they would have been to painful for her to bear.
ReplyDeleteI'll ALWAYS be grateful I have the wonderful memories of my grandparents. (Amy)
ReplyDeleteThey were a wonderful example of how a relationship should work. We are lucky to have found those relationships for ourselves.
DeleteOh my gosh, this is so sweet. Between your blog and Lisa Moles, my eyes are welling continuously. I'm so pleased to have found fellow caregivers in the blogoshpere! I help my folks, 90 and 93...dad has parkinson's. they both have some dementia. Though hard work, it is sacred too. But, lonely at times. I write about caregiving and my faith, and other things too. come visit me, if you'd like: http://adventuresintheballpark.blogspot.com You have a new follower here. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Mare, I did stop by to read your post from One Word Wednesday and I was very impressed. Having others to share this journey with certainly does help. I am very happy to meet you.
DeleteWhat a beautiful post about your parents. My mother has early onset dementia and is in a care facility because she is an extreme wanderer. A woman who climbed many 14ers by herself is hard to keep close when she thinks it is time to climb another mountain.
ReplyDeleteThanks Michelle. It is so hard when this disease strikes your family. I thank God for each day I am able to keep Mom home with us. I know that this might change at any given moment. I am glad that you stopped by.
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